One of the “bills” that the 7th National Assembly” passed within 10 minutes in the last week of its life makes an 11-year-old girl eligible to marry a man of her choice, sleep with him and have children. Except for a few like Prof. Wole Soyinka who took time to tear the bill and its sponsors apart, many have yet to see the nakedness of the men and women that occupy the hallowed chambers of the Nigerian legislature.

Nobody really cares about the laws made in the NASS. And even if laws were always obeyed in the country, the one that lets adulthood begin at 11 for the female folk is not likely to affect anyone’s actions. However, it is still normal to suspect that some of our lawmakers are paedophiles. And anyone who shouted “aye” in support of the bill should be avoided by all right-thinking people.

The intrigues, conspiracies and fights in the NASS for the past month have not permitted us to take a closer look at some of these people who used the pro-paedophile law to justify the billions they have been stealing. One month after the 8th NASS’ inauguration, they are yet to settle down. They went on a two-week recess after their first sitting and have now taken off on another two-week leave. So, even if the president had an executive bill or his ministerial list to present, he must hold it until the last week of July; that is, if they don’t go on recess for the third time in two months.

Perhaps some lawmakers are also gays. Since statisticians say that 15 per cent of Nigerians are homosexuals, it’s safe to assume that there are no fewer than eight gays in the NASS. I’m tempted to believe that gays are better than paedophiles, but neither qualify to be addressed as human beings. They are perhaps mutants of strange animals. If the penalty for being gay is 14 years in jail, the punishment for paedophiles should be a life sentence or worse.

Until a decade ago, I didn’t really believe that gays existed in real life. I assumed it was one of those fairy tales children were told. When I saw stories about homosexuals in foreign media, I quickly flipped to the next page. I soon grew up when a friend referred me to verses in the Bible, and I learned that the evil had existed from prehistoric times. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of gays.

My friend said something else: When we were living in Lagos in the 1990s, he suspected another friend was gay because he lacked interest in women. Luckily for our friend, he didn’t see him making advances to men!

My interest in the subject developed with the demand for gay rights in Nigeria. Having not met anyone who confessed he/she was gay or lesbian, I sought to read a first-hand account of a gay Nigerian. I’ve not succeeded. I see them only on foreign TV channels. I hear there are clubs in Lagos and Abuja that are exclusive for gays. I have no reason to believe what I hear. But I have no reason not to believe it either.

My naivety in matters of sexuality does not extend to denying the existence of paedophiles. They exist. They are also rapists that deserve a place in hellfire.

We applauded the NASS and then President Jonathan when the anti-gay bill was signed into law 18 months ago. Now, we should condemn the originators and supporters of the pro-paedophile law. To test our lawmakers’ sincerity, suitors should start chasing their 11-year-old daughters. And how would our caring legislators react if a young man entered their home to request their young daughter’s hand in marriage? My guess is that he would be pursued with dogs and guns. The less hypocritical among them could, at least, offer an excuse: she is still in school and won’t get married yet.

Paedophiles and gays – their numbers are increasing here. The latter should no longer feel neglected. Once they start noticing signs of homosexuality, they could start approaching 11-year-old girls and boys in the homes of senators and House members. It’s their right to be satisfied by any means lawful.

Early last year, I encouraged gays to float a political party and seek power. Once one of them was elected president of Nigeria, he would easily reverse the law against same-sex marriage. Now that paedophiles are emerging openly, they could merge with them. Theirs would be a formidable political party – a party strong enough to defeat the ruling APC and the opposition PDP in the 2019 polls.

For my part, I hereby cease to judge anyone. The paedophiles are perhaps scared of STDs and HIV/AIDS and would want to pluck their brides before they ripen and get spoiled. Fair argument. In certain African cultures, 50 to 100 years ago, girls were married off as toddlers. Some were married on the day they were born. But our ancestors did not have sex with their under-aged brides. They waited for them. Can today’s paedophiles wait? Not likely.

As to the gays who argue that they were created by God in his own image, let them live. Maybe the urge they get is natural. If not, they should quickly divorce their sexual orientation and, if need be, remain celibate for life.

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Sign of the Times

Former finance minister Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and former CBN governor Chukwuma Soludo early this year fought in the media over the latter’s statement on the state of the economy. It was an unnecessary tussle, for the facts are visible in markets, banks, soup-pots and mortuaries.

Yesterday, in a part of Abuja, a 28-year-old man of south-west ancestry tied his trousers to a tree branch and hanged himself. He succeeded in taking his life after three failed attempts with a rope that snapped. The police are “investigating” the circumstances that led to the suicide, but neighbours testified that the young man, until then a bus conductor, had been worrying frequently about hardship in recent times.

Vice President Yemi Osibanjo clearly understands the situation of Nigerians at the moment, judging by his recent statements on poverty rate. Saving the poor is now an emergency. The vice president should pass the message to his boss, the president, quickly. It’s not their fault that things are this way. But that’s the reason they won the election held on March 28, exactly three months ago. The honeymoon will soon be over.

— By ANIEBO NWAMU

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